Good Reasons

Yesterday I got carried away. I was trying to find some old pictures I could use as my "before" photos. I was too full of self-loathing to take any proper ones when I started. Plus, I think part of me didn't believe I would actually get past a few days of the diet anyway.

I have actually tried Optifast before. Not properly. I didn't know how to do it properly. My doctor had suggested it in the past when I'd complained about finding it hard to stick to a diet. I'd bought the shakes and proceeded to have them for Breakfast, then Lunch... then by the afternoon I would be so hungry I'd binge on a mighty bowl of pasta and then dessert and then... try again tomorrow?

I hadn't read enough (or opened the brochure that comes with the packet, duh) to know I should be eating 2+ cups of veg a day. AND a tsp of oil. Trust me, that little spoon is something. I can really taste the difference when I have that on my salad. And, it may just be in my head, but I reckon it helps with the fullness factor too.

And I also hadn't read about the 3-day challenge. If I had known then that all I needed to do was stick it out and be hungry for 3 days and then it would stop? Well, who knows. But I do remember at the time thinking "What's the point? I can't do this! How can I resign myself to being this hungry FOREVER?!"

But, I did do my reading this time. And here we are. But, no proper "before" photos.

And so I was browsing through Facebook photos trying to find ones that properly show my extra chins or actually showcases my body. Both of which are actually hard to find. Not because they don't exist but because I actively avoid posting those ones and remove any tags my friends link me to.

Needless to say, there was still enough evidence to show what I did look like. I think there might be a small difference. But, I had to really analyse it. Which got me a little down. Because once I'm scrutinising myself that closley it's hard to turn it off! Not only was it harder than I thought it should be to see a noticeable difference. But, now I was scrutinising what I currently look like!

I was staring at myself in the mirror thinking, "You've lost 20 kilos and you're still obese". Great mindset that. I've generally been so positive throughout this journey.

I told my friend at work what I was thinking this morning and she said, "Well, I'm here to tell you you look fantastic!" I'm choosing to take that on board and believe it. And not try to qualify it or dismiss it in my head like I would usually do. Yesterday I was feeling fantastic, so why not believe I look it too?

And you know what? I can't actually think of any good reason not to.