Egg Emergency!

Last night as I got in to bed at 9.30pm, my tummy was rumbling. Loudly. I was the hungriest I've been since that first week on Optifast. There have been moments throughout these 10 and a half weeks where I've been mildly hungry, experiencing mild cravings or just hanging out for the next shake. But nothing like this. I couldn't even comprehend how I could get to sleep in that state!

So, after a few minutes lying in bed with my stomach screaming at me, I had to get up. I racked my brain for what we had in the house. Some ham or chicken maybe? I know that Optifast allows you an extra 50-100g of lean protein when you regularly do over an hour of intensive exercise. Or if your BMI is over 35. My BMI is no longer that high and I don't think 30mins intensive + a gentle 30min walk really qualifies on the exercise front. But, I didn't care. I needed food!

I raced to the kitchen, rummaged for a small fry pan, sprayed it lightly with olive oil and popped it on the stove. Then I cracked two eggs into it and began scrambling them in the pan! No time to beat them separately. When they were cooked I ground a little black pepper onto them and tried my best to eat them slowly, taking sips of plain mineral water in between each bite.

It was ok. I was still slightly hungry, but I could handle that. I managed to get to sleep.

So, I technically "cheated" my diet. But, even in my desperate race to get something in my belly, I still had the awareness to make a good choice. The eggs are just fat and protein and won't have done any damage to my ketosis. Optifast say, "If you have to cheat, cheat with meat." (And eggs, in this instance, count as meat!)

I know why this happened. I've been pushing myself too hard on the exercise this week. I am a bit behind on my goal of 4 walks, 3 resistance band sessions, and 3 bike sessions. I've done the walks and 2 sessions with the bands, but only managed to do my first 30mins on the bike last night. I would only be getting in 2 rides max (if I did one more on the weekend). But, still. This appears to be way too much exercise for me on these restricted calories.

It might have been the intensive bike session that pushed me over the edge. I really pushed myself doing 15mins of hill intervals and then 15mins of sprint intervals. The resistance band workouts really sock it to me too. But, I feel so flabby and loose right now. I really want to tone up. I don't know...

I feel like I've gotten a bit lost in all of this lately. I am actually concerned I'm pushing myself into Starvation mode. My weight loss slowed up a bit last week, and a sneak peak today looked even worse. I don't want to stall my weight loss. I have had faith in the Optifast plan for so long now - why am I messing with it?

I still want to do my 3rd resistance band work out tonight. And then I hope to just take it easy on the weekend. It really sucks. Exercise has been making me feel so good. I don't know if I just need to persist and get used to the hunger or if I'm actually doing damage to my body and should reign it back.

Probably should see my doctor to get his advice. But the only way he's going to know is if he does tests. I've had a referral for some pathology tests for a while now, but I usually faint or near-faint every time I get blood taken. And I reckon on reduced calories it will be even worse. So, I'm afraid. And putting it off. I need to go. I'm going to have to convince myself, somehow.

I was going so well just doing 30min walks and sticking to the program. I've changed things and the results are changing. Do I care about that number on the scale more than feeling fitter and happier? Or, am I being silly trying to push the exercise? One more week til transition. With a bit more food (around 200 calories more), will that make a difference?

Lots to think about.

WIL: The plot (a bit).
WIG: Knowledge that I can cook eggs in under 3mins - get outta here Fast Food!
A bit of thinking to do.