Why Am I Doing This?

I often find myself thinking about why I am doing Optifast instead of some other diet or calorie counting. I think it has a lot to do with all the reading I do on weightloss forums. There seems to be a real stigma against Very Low Calorie Diets (VLCD) or anything involving shakes.

I've been using MyFitnessPal to track my weight loss, food and exercise. It's mainly so I can keep control over the veggie recipes I concoct and all the little extra things I might pop in my mouth each day - sugarfree gum/lollies/jelly etc. It can add up.

While on there I occasionally browse the community forums. There is one thread I look at occasionally, which is titled something like "Any other Optifast users out there?". Many of my friends on the site have come from this thread. This thread though, is honestly a bit of a minefield. For every second honest Optifast user there, there is somebody who needs to make a point about "liquid diets being unsustainable", "unhealthy" or how we're all "going to put all that weight back on straight away".

And so, it does make me think. And ask myself, "Why am I doing this, again?" "Why aren't I just calorie counting?"

Well, there are two parts to my answer, I've realised. The first part is why I started Optifast in the first place: I was desperate, my doctor recommended it, and I had family members that had had success with it.

I had tried calorie counting and exercising like mad at the gym. And I won't lie and tell you they didn't work. They did! I lost about 15kgs at the beginning of 2012 doing exactly that. But, like every other diet I've been on since I was 15 - I didn't stick at it. In March 2012 I went on a family holiday and while trying to be good, I ended up giving in to the family meals out at restaurants, and the ice creams on the beach, and all that jazz.

After years of what I guess is called yo-yo dieting, I had pretty much given up on my ability to achieve any meaningful and permanent weight loss. Convincing myself night after night that I could get away with carrying more weight. That I wasn't THAT fat. That I didn't care if I was overweight, I only cared about being happy.

In the past I'd had some bloodwork done that showed I was pretty high on the blood sugar levels and had some fatty liver syndrome happening. At the time the doctor had recommended Optifast. So, I'd given some weight to the diet as more than just some fad.

Additionally, a couple of family members had been put on the diet by their doctors and had some great successes.

And the second part? Why I continue to do Optifast? Because I believe in the journey.

I'm not one to just accept what a packet or an advertisement tells me. I have read all about ketosis, and the various stages of the diet that re-teach you how to eat in the real world. I know there are blow-ins that throw back a few shakes for a few weeks before their wedding to shed 5kgs or so, but that's not what I'm doing here. I'm going through all those phases, dammit! And I'm going to learn what my body needs to live and maintain a healthy weight.

Already on the 10th week of the Intensive Phase, I have noticed changes. I am so thankful for doing this stage as it has been an incredible break and detox. I feel like my body has been going through these stages of bargaining with me for what it wants. LIke every craving has been slowly narrowing it down to what it really needs. Not just what the fast food commercial says looks good.

"What about a hamburger? Wouldn't a big juicy hamburger with a plate full of thick cut chips and garlic aoili be just what we need right now?"

   No, I can't have that.

"What about just the hamburger? Scrap the chips! A nice patty with some cheese and relish and a lovely toasted bun. We could even put some lettuce and tomato on it?"

   No, I can't have that.

"Ok... what about a toasted cheese sandwich?"

   No, I can't have that.

"You know what? What I really want? I would like a Chicken and avocado wrap."

   Oh... well, you know what? We might be able to swing that, body!

And so, in about Week 4 I planned out my first Transition meal in MyFitnessPal. It's going to be a chicken and avocado wrap on wholegrain mountain bread, with 30g of cheese and all my favourite salad veggies. It's 386 calories. Perfect since our Transition meals need to be around 400 cals. And with about 26g carbs it should probably be ok to keep me under 80 or so grams of carbs for the day so that I can stay relatively low carb.

I really like that eventually, after not having that addictive sugary/salty/fatty food, my body has started to be more reasonable. It's craving things like avocado, eggs and strawberries. Healthy foods that I'm just not allowed to have in this stage, but will again in just under 3 weeks when I move to Transition. I really really like that. I reckon that's a good sign!

I also love the idea of the Transition stage introducing one real meal a day, then the Maintenance 2 and then eventually the Stabilisation not having any Optifast products at all. It's not forcing me to suddenly have to think of 3 healthy meals a day to eat. I'm going to learn gradually and at a safe pace.

So, when you couple the two parts together, I feel very convinced that I'm doing the right thing for me. I feel like while I might not have been exactly sure why it was the best thing for me when I started, I am utterly certain now.

WIL: My cravings for chocolate and most of my cravings for salty fast food.
WIG: A whole new obsession with avocado. I wonder if it will be as good as I want it to be once I eventually eat it?