Week 9

End of Week 9!! Can you believe it?! I might have to pinch myself to believe that I have been on a diet for over 2 months now! Incredible.

So... guess what!?! I am in DOUBLE DIGITS, baby!! 98.4kgs as of this morning! I am THRILLED to say the least. I just went and crossed off my second goal! I have also added in another goal of 25kgs lost - because that is my halfway point.

It is my first day back to work after 2 weeks off over Xmas and New Year and I am almost floating on air! I am starting to look like a bit of a dork in my baggy work shirts, but oh well! I MUCH prefer them this loose to when they were so tight that I couldn't lift my arms. Two months ago if I had to do a lot of photocopying and bending over that day, I would make sure to wear the slightly looser one so that I didn't cut the circulation off in my arms! Oh how uncomfortable it was to be that big.

I had a pretty big week this week. My sister was over from Melbourne and staying with us. We took her all about Perth and there were MANY lunches and dinners out. I think (to my major dismay!) I only got to have ONE of my mushroom soups. The rest were garden salads at whatever restaurant we were at! It gets annoying having to specially ask for their side salad with no cheese, no beetroot, no dressing or whatever that many times in a week! But, I did it. FAR better to be slightly annoyed than have indulged for a silly reason like saving myself the hassle!

We went to Rottnest one day and as we walked down to the beach (and later back up the beach) I noticed how my boyfriend and sister were walking so much quicker than me across the sand. I was honestly trying to keep up as best as I could and realised that it was probably because I was so heavy that I was sinking into the sand more and it was harder for me to move quickly. I really look forward to the day I can keep up on the sand!

Another thing happened this week, and it's a bit sad, so I do apologise for sharing. Unfortunately, my cat had to be put down. It was a very sad couple of days for me with him being sick and then ultimately having to be put to sleep. I don't remember the last time I cried that much. The reason why I mention it though, is because of how it affected me food wise. There were a couple of times when I went to the fridge for some water and thought about the Snickers ice creams in the fridge. Or the Lindt chocolates in the cupboard. But, amazingly, they were fairly fleeting thoughts. The other thing that I noticed was that I actually lost my appetite. Which, I think I've heard of other (normal sized) people experiencing. I've never in my life noticed that I actually didn't want to eat when I was sad. Probably because I was so busy stuffing my face full of sugar and fat in the hope that it would cheer me up. It made me realise that those times I was never actually hungry - just craving things that I thought made me feel better. I only ate 2 opti meals that day + my veggies. It's a once off so I'm not particularly worried about it. I just wanted to remark upon it because I think it might have been a significant point in my weight loss journey.

So, all in all a very big week for me! But, I have come out of it smiling and realising just how strong I am and how much I DON'T need junk food to make me feel good. It's amazing just how much less important food has become in my life. I honestly am starting to think of my meals as something I need because I'm hungry and will need the energy/nutrients. Not something to make me feel good or have fun.

Oh, and I need to think of another reward to get myself for my 20kgs/double digits goal being achieved. I was going to get a manicure, but last week I broke one of my nails and had to cut the rest of them to make them the same length. Still, I'm not too disappointed because the whole deal with that was that I stopped biting my nails! So, I know they will grow again. My GOSH it looks so much nicer to have nicely trimmed short nails, then bitten and red and sore ones!! I might save the manicure for my 30kgs goal reward.

If you have any reward ideas, let me know! I was thinking maybe a hair cut and colour. I haven't had one of those in a while - it's amazing how much beauty stuff you let go when you don't feel good about yourself because of your weight!

WIL: 1.9kgs... and a grand total of (my very long awaited first major goal of) 21.6kgs lost!!; An extra digit column on the scales - no longer required!; And very sadly, a beautiful kitty cat that I loved dearly.
WIG: So much more confidence in myself; an even stronger willpower muscle; some awesome priceless time with my sis; the ability to look at what I can do and think, "Wow, I am pretty amazing!"; maybe a new way of looking at food??